Another thing I ran across this past week was a post I had written about Decoration Day. Well, obviously my position has changed since my Dad died. I have spent more time in the cemetery in the last year and a half than the last 20 years of my life combined. Mom and I went yesterday to get flowers. We buy for Dad’s, Grandma and Grandpa Tucker and Grandmother and Popa Wallace. She was telling me that I should get help with those after she passed. I told her that if there was still a Wallace reunion I would take money from that, but I would not ask any of the cousins for help with Grandma & Grandpa. Just not going to do it.It is scary that I am destined to be the adult… But I can handle it. One thing my position has not changed on is my desire to be cremated. I just don’t want anyone worrying about taking care of anything for me when I have moved on…..
I promised myself that May was going to be a better month for me. I am not doing so well so far. I find it easy to slip into a bit of lethargy or apathy. I try to read and keep my mind stimulated, but sometimes I just want to play ostrich. But as I look up at my bulletin board with all the smiling faces of my grandkids, well I have to smile. They are so wonderful. Somebody needs to shape up! Who has time to feel sorry for themselves! Move on!
(I sure hope I was listening)…..
Well it is the first day of May (okay technically the second day of May, but the first “workday”.). We had a good weekend. Everyone but Ali (who was camping with a friend) made it over to the house Saturday afternoon to visit with Mom, Keith, Brittany and meet sweet Jessa Grace. Layla even had some company as they brought Toby over to romp and run with her… I think they did four laps around the swimming pool before they slowed down.
Yesterday was a good day at church. One lady in class needed to vent, and might have even yelled her frustrations a little bit. And it is good that it is okay. Sure everyone feels a bit uncomfortable at first, but it is good to get it out and have a place where you feel safe doing so. The lesson was on Temptation, which made me smile. I had looked back at some old blog posts on Friday and landed on one about temptation. I kind of felt like God needed to remind me of something again.
In my walk down memory lane (or reviewing old blog posts) I talked about going to dinner with a friend that I had helped with a house sell. I really need to go ahead and mention names, because eleven years later I do not have a clue who I was talking about! Funny.
My foot hurt a lot over the weekend, but the work day seems to have healed it. Maybe it just likes the way I walk at work better….who knows? (Probably being barefoot all weekend might have been the cause…). Anyway maybe I will feel like playing tennis tomorrow.
I enjoyed Matthew’s game last night. It seems that the boys are getting better and stronger at the game, and there is not a lot of pressure on winning. I like that everyone is able to play to their strengths and come off the field feeling good.
I found an old saying last week that is credited to Einstein: “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid”. As the Mimi of eight amazing children, I see that each of them have unique qualities and abilities. They do not fit into some kind of mold that makes each of them just like the other. They are different, and yet they are all special. They do not excel at the same things, they do not struggle with the same things. I love and accept this about each of them. I am proud that they are unique individuals.
How much more does our Father love and accept our differences. All He has ever asked of us is that we use the talents we are given….for Him. How am I doing at that? He does not expect me to be as good as you are, nor you to be as good as me…. Just doing the best we can with what WE have been blessed with. If you think about it, that is quite the challenge.
I spoke before about how encouraged I was when my Fitbit gave me motivational words each morning. Well, I have an even more motivational word each morning. Our church sends out texts to challenge us to get through the day in a positive way. This morning for example it was “Do not withhold good…when it is in your power to help them… What good can you do to reveal God’s love to someone today?” I love getting these texts each morning. I know it is a robo thing, but it still seems personal and makes you feel apart of something.
I had dinner and tennis with some friends last night. One was the lady I spoke of earlier who became widowed last year. Her birthday was yesterday, so I made an exception to my “no tennis on Wednesday” rule. We had a great time. It was good to get out and laugh and feel like I was being an encourager.
Also though, I hurt my heel. I had this injury last year after state. I think it happens when I play more than usual in a short period of time. I hate injuries, pains, etc. that I can’t control. But that change comes from an aging frame….yuck! that sounds as bad as it is.
Anyway, looking forward to a visit from my brother, niece and great niece this weekend. It will be nice to have a little baby girl around again. It is a big change for me to NOT be the Mimi involved with the babies! I bet little Jessa Grace will need the occasional “change” as well….HAHAHA!
It seems there are some chapters of our life that have ended, but we just are not sure about a possible post script. Take my Mortgage business days, sometimes I think I will go back to that…but reality is that I will not. I should just close that book and move on. Other things are harder to find the will to put down. I had that issue some when I tried to go back to my old church. It was a chapter of my life that had ended. I just had to accept that. Sometimes the only words left are I am finished with that; and that is okay. It does not diminish the good memories or friends made during a season of your life. But you can hardly move forward if you are always looking back.
So truly life is about beginnings. I made a new friend this weekend. She and I have a lot in common and yet a lot of differences. One difference is she lost her husband last year to pancreatic cancer. She is very lonely, both of her children live in other towns (her son in another state). I see it as a challenge to help her fill that void in her life. I like to start something new. It is an adventure to see where it will go.
Let’s get it started.
What a fantastic weekend! Great weather, great tennis, great time serving on Serve Day with my church family. I was so busy and so active that I really am still tired! But it is a good tired. I feel better when I stay busy.
And if I was the “happy-happy Facebook poster” that we all know and love I would end this right there. But reality is, even when you have a really good weekend there are things that are not so good. My daughter is struggling with parenting 10-year olds…. My Mom is still not feeling all that great. Dave is having more dizzy spells. My pants are not fitting any better. My friends have issues….serious issues. And our issues seem to be no closer to being resolved….
But, God is good, stuff is stuff and this too shall pass. I just had a good weekend! And that is enough said.
Last night I was looking for something to read. I found a little book on my book shelf called Gideon’s Gift. I am not real sure where it came from, but anyway, I read it…yes the whole thing….before I went to bed.
I was very blessed by reading the book. It went along with our lesson Sunday about the happiness of “less”. And it painted a picture for me of real things to be upset about. I was broken by the book. I went to bed and had a good cry. Nothing really resets me like a good cry. I asked God for forgiveness for being so absorbed with myself. Sometimes I don’t know the right things to do or say or how to reset priorities, but I do know that everyday, I have to choose to put myself aside…. and it aint’ easy!