Walking This Way….and That…

Good Medicine

I will admit, the late summer cold, allergies or whatever has just about kicked my booty….and I really have not felt like doing anything extra circular this week…but I am glad that I just did.  Tuesday night was fun with my Cullman girls that I never really see anymore, Wednesday night was good with family at church and last night I truly enjoyed playing tennis with my friends.  I think it even made me feel better physically to sweat out some of my “junk”.

On more than one occasion I have admitted how much my friends help me get through this crazy thing called life.  Family is also amazing.  Little Alex had his 2nd birthday on Wednesday although we may delay the celebration some.  It is hard to believe we have had him for two years!  It is also hard to imagine life without him.  He brings so much joy and “boyness” to everything.  Hopefully we can have a little party for him this weekend.

Also Bruce will be getting here next Wednesday.  It will be good to see them.  It has been a short year (I know not quite a year) since Daddy died and we were all together.  It will just be good to have them home.

Life is so much more than this time we spend at work, and even amid my best attempts to slow it down if flies by.  Better take time to enjoy it!

Dark & Dreary

Last night we were discussing Psalm 88, said to be the saddest of all the Psalms.  I suppose the timing was good for me between my current study of Job and just my state of mind lately.  The thing is the Psalmist is in dire distress.  God seems to have forsaken him and all of his friends are gone too.  We will have these times in life.  They may last a few days, they may last a few months, it could even go on for years.  We wonder if death would bring us closer to God. “Do the departed rise up to praise you?”  Sometimes there are not any answers.  Our ways are not God’s ways and while we know something good can come from everything, there are times when that good is totally obscured to the one going through the pain.  It is unfair to tell people this when they are in pain.  It is wrong of us to discount the pain.  But we truly do not know how to deal with it.  We do not know how to comfort others because we do not know how to comfort ourselves.  We are the masters of disguise.  We think you will think less of us if we dare to admit that we are in a pit.  I mean really?  Does anyone want to hear it?

God allowed Satan to strip away every good and comfortable thing from Job.  Satan was more than happy to do so.  God let Job know that he (Job) could not possibly know all the ways of God.  He was just a man.  You know God had almost bragged on Job, I am afraid he could find little to brag about with Donna.  Life is hard.  It is full of anxiety and trouble.  But still for me there is so much good.  There is joy in my children.  There is so much beauty.  I was awakened with this nagging cough, but it meant I got to see the moon at 4:00 am when it was so beautiful.

I don’t have answers.  It is okay to lament.  God is still so good even when the storms rise up and swallow us whole.  Through Him we know we can come out on the other side.

Breathe

It seems like every time that we plan a “girls night out” with my Cullman buddies, I feel bad.  I thought I felt better yesterday, but I have relapsed some today.  The weather on the other hand is fantastic!  I should allow it to make me feel better.  Maybe if I get outside at lunch I will get re-energized.

I was having some crazy dreams this morning.  I woke up trying to decide if I had rather be a sniper or the spotter for the sniper.  I am still not sure the proper way to answer that question.  Have you ever noticed how snippets of some dreams stay with you as actual memories?  I am not sure what that is about, but I could describe several such memories.  I feel like the crazy one from this morning will be added to that collection.

Starting to make plans for our tennis trip to North Carolina.  The drama has started with one of our players that gives the word “high maintenance” a whole new meaning.  Nobody wants to ride with her, or let her ride with them.  Now she has become my problem.  I am trying to take the high road and have a good attitude, but as I recall, I did not want to ask her to be on the team and everyone else told me she would be crushed.  Anyway, it is a trial.  I hope to be able to be the woman God wants me to be.  But as I told my friend Terry, this is my first and probably my last time to get to go to a higher tournament…why does she have to be there to ruin the fun for me?  Oh well…..we will see what we see.

In the meantime, Enjoy the weather.  Breathe (which is way harder than it should be)…

And It’s Monday…

I hate being sick….but I have late summer allergies, a cold or something.  And I hate it.  I left work early Friday and was just a useless slug all day.  I feel better today, but occasionally cough my head off….(I hate it when it rolls around on the ground!).

I did manage to play some tennis on Saturday and seemed to remember how it was done.  It was fun, we played too long but it was good to be outside with my friends.  I had to rush back with Mom’s groceries and shower to pick up the kids and go to Matthew’s game (West Point had a bye this week so the triplets went with us).  They won and so did we…we got to the car just as the bottom dropped out!  But the rain had held off long enough to finish the game!

The kids and I made it to church.  Not nearly as long a wait on breakfast this morning.  We did have to sit at two separate tables since Matthew had someone sitting with him.  We made it a girl table and a boy table.  Mary stayed at the boy table with the Sylas.  Fun to have a big family there. We had to leave promptly and eat lunch quickly.  They were having football pictures at 1:00.  I went ahead and did the Wal-Mart run for Mom before heading home.  I ended up forgetting some of the things I was supposed to leave at her house so I went back over there and took her our vacuum cleaner to try.

Trying to get back in the swing at work, but just don’t feel like thinking too much.  Oh, I did renew my Mom’s driver’s license for her on line this morning.  How cool is that!  Glad they finally got that ability here in Alabama.  Ok…back to it.

Christmas Time is Coming….

The evening was a stormy one, yet the kids were excited to go to church.  I love that they get excited.  We had a great dinner of Barbeque Potatoes and pizza for the kids (except Ali who is not crazy about pizza).  The cousins get in some good playing time before church starts and then they are also excited to get to class.  This week they made Christmas trees….it seems it is time to start rehearsing for the Christmas production.  Hello?? My calendar says August!!!  But it is all good.  I think it will be fun.  On a more serious note, after spending the weekend enjoying “Disciple Now”, Matthew recommitted his life to Christ last night.  I am so proud of that young man.  He has such a sweet serious side to him….and then there is crazy goofy side that was trying to teach him Mimi the “whip” after his game Saturday night.  Anyway, I am really enjoying spending these Wednesday nights with the family.  ** One little aside about how technology has changed everything**  The preacher’s topic for Bible study was one that I did not whole-heartedly agree with his interpretation.  I found myself Google-ing during the lesson some of the points and scriptures that covered both sides of the topic.  You know in the past if you disagreed or wanted to study more you would wait until you got home.  Now with my I-Phone doubling as my Bible, I have all kinds of resources at my fingertips.  I was reminded of my study earlier in the week about unity and how we can have differences of opinion and still be one in Christ.  I love how God’s word does that for you…. prepares you even before you know that you need something…

In other news tonight is our monthly board meeting.  I couldn’t help but recall that it was after the August meeting last year that I found out they had taken my Dad to the hospital.  This was when his platelets were critically low.  I know that the next few months are going to be filled with “this time last year” memories.  I know it will all be a bitter-sweet time.  I am not yet to the point of having just the good sweet memories, but I do have a lot of “my Daddy always said”….but I did that before he left us.  I miss him. Even after all of this time, I am not quite accepting of the fact that I will not see him when I go over there.  But life does go on, and praise God we live with the hope and assurance of the resurrection!  We will meet again!

Happy Fun Things

I had a good time at the tennis seminar last night.  Actually meeting with the girls and having pizza before the meeting was the most fun….but it was all good.  We met at this pavilion with a heavy duty ceiling fan that made me feel like I was in a hair product commercial.  It was a neat place but the fan might have been on a bit high..

Today, the sun has peeked out a couple of times.  That is always a mood lifter.  And as I type this I have a Blow-Pop in my mouth. … really what is more fun than a sucker and bubble gum??  There are always good things.  Sometimes you just have to look harder than others.

Reading the Book of Esther is good.  It reminds me of the time we were doing the Beth Moore study and a lady told me that she wished if people wanted to be Baptist they would just go up the street.  Ok, not a happy fun memory, but an ironic one at the moment.

I try to control what goes in my body in the way of medicine.  To that end I have tried to quit taking my bio-identical hormones, just thinking nothing like that should be continued long term.  However, I do believe that is the root of some of my angst.  I know it is affecting my sleep and my mood.  But I am strong.  At least strong enough to make it another week.

Well, I am down to the bubble gum now…..

Sleep

I have not been sleeping well.  This from the girl who could usually be asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.  I don’t seem to be overly worried or upset about anything, I just can’t get my brain to shut off and rest!

I think part of my issue these days is the limbo our lives are in waiting for our court case.  Even then I am not convinced anything will be resolved, but I hope so.  I have probably mentioned this before, but I like control.  At the moment, I have NONE, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA….. and I don’t particularly like that.

Oh well…. maybe tonight I will just sleep….

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